Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
