he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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