at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
