He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
