I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
