I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
