five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
