The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
