He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
