How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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