I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We named our party play list daddy issues
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
