Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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