dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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