So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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