Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
