if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
