This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize