The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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