i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
