so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
