What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
