just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
