Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
