I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize