Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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