In the future we'll all be gay
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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