Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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