Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize