sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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