i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
me + whiskey = a bad person
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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