I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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