My first STD was from a foam party
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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