I puked a lego.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize