I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Non-Jews are for practice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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