I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
