Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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