I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
