This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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