i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
