dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
