i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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