she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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