i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
