all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
