I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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