There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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