i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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