What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i love accidental penises.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
