Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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