yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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