thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Randomize