He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
