you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
