I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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