mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
