Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
