u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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