Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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