he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
