So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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